


He Looked Like He Was Barely Holding On

by LissaWho5



Series: Sanders Sides 25 Days Of Christmas 2018 [15]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depressive Episode, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 17:11:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17063765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissaWho5/pseuds/LissaWho5
Summary: Patton is known for comforting Virgil. This is the first time that Virgil had to comfort Patton.





	He Looked Like He Was Barely Holding On

Virge woke up to the sound of his boyfriend breathing heavily besides him in bed. He turned to look and saw that Patton was sitting up, tears in his eyes. 

Virge sat up. “Pat?”

Patton quickly wiped away his tears and looked at Virge. “Yes Virgey?” 

Virgil grabbed his hand, knowing Patton usually found touch comforting. This applied now as Patton squeezed his hand in response. 

“You okay Honeybear?” 

Patton nods quickly, “Of course dearie, I’m okay. You can go back to bed, I’ll fall asleep again soon.”

Virgil kisses Patton’s forehead. “You sure? You don’t have to be okay.”

“But I’m fine! I just get stupid sometimes and get in these moods. I’ll get over soon enough.”

“How you feel isn’t stupid Patton.” He then paused. “Tell me about how you’re feeling, only if  you don’t mind of course.”

“You don’t have to do that Virge, it’s seriously not a big deal.”

“Pat if its a big deal to you, you should be able to express that.”

Patton took a deep breath, “It’s just that I haven’t always been the best to myself. Like you know I suffer from depression and I’ve suffered from depression most of my life but I only realized what it was a couple years ago. And it made some things better like I’ve been doing better with my medication and with therapy, but it’s still really hard. And I get in these moods where I just hate myself and everything about me and then it combines with my anxiety and makes me think that everyone around me hates me or that they don’t want to be around me anymore and it hurts.”

“Patton, that won’t happen trust me, I worry about everything, people leaving isn’t a thing to worry about, your Patton, people love you.” He begins to embrace Patton but Patton pushes him off. 

“But that’s the issue Virge! People say that and then they leave. My whole life people have said “Wow Patton you are so nice!” or “Pat you are literal sunshine.” My freshman year of high school I got the “Ray Of Sunshine Award” in Drama Club for God's sake.” He moves to the edge of the bed. “But when it came to actual friends who genuinely liked me or all of me very few were. Everyone said how nice I was but the same people would ignore me and forget about me so easily. Or at worst people would take my kindness and use it to manipulate me." At this point Patton had tears in his eyes. "And I just got so tired. That had been my whole life. I’d open up just to get left behind or hurt by the ones who would promise they would stay or they wouldn’t realize that they were hurting me. But I’m so scared of loneliness and I’m so scared of my future and our future and I’m scared of us not getting that future cause I’ll find a way to mess it all up. I’m so scared Virge but I don’t want to be, I just want a happy ending like in all the books I read. I worked so hard don’t I deserve a happy ending? Or do I? I don’t know if I do anymore. I think I'm a good person. But how do I know unless others tell me?"

Virgil honestly didn't know what to say. He knew Patton struggled with mental health (As did he), but it wasn't often he had to deal with being on the comforting sides of these situations. 

"I honestly don't know what to say Patt. That sucks, you didn't deserve that, no one does." 

Patton just shrugs his shoulders, but he's still looking down and wiping away the tears though they didn't stop something. He then shows a bitter and sad smile.  "It's just my life Virge. And that's not even getting into my other issues that were caused by sucky parenting, really bad gifted programs after being labeled that as a kid, and the issues with my life." He then looks at Virgil's "Have I scared you away yet?" Patton let's out a bitter chuckle.

Virgil didn't think it was funny.

"No you haven't. I'm not gonna leave you Patton, not because of this. You've done this for me, how could I not do the same?"

"You wouldn't be the first to not give back." Patton mumbles and Virge decides to not comment on that for  the moment ."

"Well, I'm not going to do that. I wish I could tell you that there's no chance we won't have have a good future. But I can tell you that I will give it my all that we stay together and that we can be happy. There's hope Patton, always has been."

Patton miles slightly at him. "Thanks Virge." 

Virgil grabs his hand and Patton let's him take it.  "No need to thank me, I'm here for you. A relationship needs us to be there for each other. An Pat?"

"Hmm?"

"Is there something I can do to comfort you?"

Patton looks down. "It's stupid."

Virgil squeezes his hand. "I doubt that it's stupid. Especially if it wold make you feel better."

Patton blushed. "Just hold me. Tell me I matter, I just ind of need validation right no and I know that it won't fix anything but it sounds really nice for the moment and-"

Virgil kissed his palm. "Say no more. I'm right here to provide any support that you need."

Virgil moved to lay down and Patton laid down on top of him. Virgil running his hands through Patton's hair as he whispered sweet reassurances and telling Patton that he is cared about and that Virgil truly does care about him and wants to be by his side. Eventually Patton grew tired and started to finally drift off, Virgil not far behind but he refused to drift off before Patton had fallen asleep, just in case Patton needed him again (which he would be happy to help with.) 

Before Patton fell asleep he whispered to Virge,  "Did you mean it Virge?"

"Mean what Patton?" Virge forced his eyes to stay open.

"That you would give us everything you got?"

Virge nods and then kisses Patton's forehead. "Absolutely. I want what we have forever."

Patton smiled, "Good, because I want to have this forever too."

Virgil's heart swelled and once he was sure Patton was asleep. He finally let himself doze off.

And the two slept peacefully.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Inspired from a prompt from a friend on Discord. I hope you enjoyed!


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